Lol, open or closed, in my wife's view, (and most wives), it'll be wrong either way! A bit like toilet seats!
I was talking to my golfing friend on the phone just a few days ago. (Damn social distancing, can't wait to get back on the course like Trump did. Lol). He said, he's getting stir crazy, he's done all the work his wife wanted him to do around the house in the last ten years. As he is running out of things to do, he's getting worry what she might be dreaming up!
I am sure Professor Bromage's earth shakening research result, costing probably $1M of taxpayer money, will soon be published in such prestigious journals like Nature or Lancet, and is expected to save millions of lives around the world.
On a related note, Prof Bromage plans to apply for another $1M research grant from the Department of Transportation to investigate
Successful hit by a car = Stand in the Middle of the Road x Time