Funny Stuff Thread.... to loosen your day


Wow, there's a whole series of this??? LOL
Bro, part 1 was like 20 episodes of their trip with this tour guide. Viewers loved her so much, these same people went back to Pyongyang and got a second tour from her and made another series. This tour guide... she's not the sexiest girl you've ever seen by a long shot but there's just something about her, that combination of simple-pretty looks with good honest demeanor, hard-work ethic and ability to speak Mandarin well but not too well, that just makes people love her.
 

solarz

Brigadier
Bro, part 1 was like 20 episodes of their trip with this tour guide. Viewers loved her so much, these same people went back to Pyongyang and got a second tour from her and made another series. This tour guide... she's not the sexiest girl you've ever seen by a long shot but there's just something about her, that combination of simple-pretty looks with good honest demeanor, hard-work ethic and ability to speak Mandarin well but not too well, that just makes people love her.
She makes me want to visit North Korea!
 

hydrogenpi

New Member
Registered Member
Love in the Age of Corona -- How I learned to stop worrying and just enjoy the collapse

Short fictional story:

So I imagine, after six months of monk mode and Intermittent Fasting, NoFap, Cold showers, lifting, etc and getting my rock hard six pack abs and having the confidence that comes with that, I then start dressing nice, and getting cloths that fit, adding accessories like fancy watchs, finally putting in the effort to look good and get a great hairstyle, and whatnot...

But mainly I book a long distance intercontentional flight to somewhere cool on the other side of the world/planet/earth. It is late summer time now and the Corona finally died off in most places around the world due to much warmer weather. My flight has many hops and is a multistop... I had saved up so much vacation time that I felt pent up and wanted to spurge a little by doing a last minute upgrade to get better seats but seems like other folks beat me to it. The traveling industry is finally coming back to alive in earnest again and its travel fever for a lot of folks worldwide. I can't check in online for some reason, oh yeah cause passport required.

I wait up early early in the morning and take a 3AM uber or lyft to the Dallas Fort Worth International airport, terminal E for international trips... get my TSA precheck and in the airport past security by 6:10AM While standing in line checking in I'm getting some snacks for a light preflight breakfast at the airport and spot this really hot "perfect ten" sort of "miss america" looking type of woman, in her mid twenties, presumably single , blonde hair, blue eye, light complexion , the works! My red-eye early morning flight gets called in the PA system, we start boarding, people making the usual mad dash to the ticket line/counter...

This perfect woman is on my flight, a Boeing 787 dreamliner, I feel all dreamy already... Unforntunately we aren't seated together, but I got a couple good glimpse at her and even maintained a few seconds of eye contact... she gives me a slight smile and then looks away. I'm not sure what to think of it. Long flight starts, they serve a small meal + drinks shortly after takeoff, then not long after the tinted windows all get autodimmed by the flight crew, most people take a nap but I read a kindle and put on some boise noise cancelation to listen to spotify.

Catch a couple more glances at "Miss America" while I'm half awake and half asleep, already having regrets not getting the row with the extra leg rooms... Finally after what seems like countless hours, plane begins preparations for landing, I'm out of my last 1Above flight endurance pill and the inflight satelittle wifi cuts off as the plane descends below 10000ft I layover someplace, perhaps tokyo, perhaps seoul, perhaps some other International city with an International airport.... But low and behold, increment weather or other issues has forced my next connecting flight to be delayed until the next morning....

It is very late at night now, local time maybe 1 AM or 2AM... and there is a sort of existential loneliness to it all, being lost/stuck/delayed at an major international airport late at night or very early in the morning in a megacity in a foreign country on the other side of the world... it somehow feels eerily strange and yet exciting at the same very time... It was a good idea that I cached the language data files in my google translator apk app on my phone and tablet prior to leaving home! Found out hard way last time that my phone was not unlocked and couldn't just get a new sim card. What floods over me is a mysterious combination of home-sick feeling, tired, and yet eager to get away and explore the unknown unknowns! Luckily this huge ass airport has a hotel connected to it, in fact like DFW, it has several nice hotels inside of the airport itself...

I need to get a night and proceed to the check in counter or customer service to get a room so I can crash for a few hours before having to get up in anticipation for my next flight... I feel the sudden jolted surprise of seeing the perfect lady yet once again in my peripherial view, such devasting beauty and awe-inspiring wonderment! Apparently I'm not the only one in similiar layover predicament, and through working up the courage for a casual chat I found out she is also stuck and headed to the same ultimate final destination. Due to this being holiday time and peak season plus the increment issues that cropped up last minute, there is only one remaining vacancy, and neither her nor myself had prior reservations... So.... I'm more than happy to offer her the last spot, and since there were plenty of other cheapskates that had merely taken it up upon themselves as to sleep on the airport floor rather than get a room, I didn't feel it would be too awkard nor embarrasing for me to do the same likewise. She being the perfect lady, of course is demure and insists upon not accepting the last empty room. After a couple back and forth attempts at mutual courtesy I decided to take the room , not wanting to pressure her into accepting anything, even if it was just a gracious gesture on my part with no other motives.

I get the paperwork handled and is finally handed the room keys, damn my legs are sore as fuck but for some reason I'm no longer sleepy anymore in that moment and decide to check out some of the night shops still open late night at this international longue of the airport.. Accidently come across her again, this time she approaches and makes chit chat, I forgot the topic of what, but its not important. I think it is her presence and ambiance that is so immersive and speaks more volumes than mere words could ever convey. I finally realized it is the way she looks at me, that kind of look.. unmistakable.

We go get a "midnight" snack together and continue talking, suprisingly she is also from the Dallas area and actually was born and grew up in DFW metroplex, talk about a small world after all! We realize we share much commonlity in terms of emotional sentiments and other philosophical values of life and existence. Somehow we get to talking about relationships and throw a bunch of hypotheticals around... call it vicarious empathy or whatever you want, but its self evident to me at this point our engrossing conversation at this late hour in this foreign place is just so flowing, so naturally effortless and real and these are the moments worth living for and waiting for and staying in... this sort of magical inner light... to be able to rest and abide in this essence of such a pervasive and timelessly elegant moment.. Then suddenly I catch myself blurting out partly in jest if she would like to come up with me to the hotel room to get some sleep/rest , immediately regretting making such an utterance, but to my absolute shock and suprise she accepts. At first I'm not sure if she is toying me and just playing along but then I don't detect any indicator of nonseriousness...

I realize most men spend their entire lives and never get a night like this, not talking about the sex, but really about being able to truly get close and wanted by a woman like THAT... by THAT kind of woman... that is something else rare and infrequent indeed As we meander across the halls and corridors of the airport to make our way to the hotel I have to secretly pinch myself to make sure I'm not somehow dreaming, and in that moment I immediately stop, realizing just like how Colin Farrell character must have felt during the end of Total Recall, when he no longer cares if this world is real or fake, just that the only things remains that matters is the raw experience itself, be it illusion or reality, the experience is what matters mosts. We share a few long moments of contented silence as we traverse the long airport walkways on long stretches of the moving escalators I'm hoping it doesn't get akward and my mind flashes back to the hotel scene with Captain America courting his new found lady friend in Before We Go (2014) It is truth that sometimes reality IS actually stranger than fiction, because as movie scenes run through my head, I realize it dawned upon me that even Already Tomorrow in Hong Kong (2015) was more nuanced than this...
 

hydrogenpi

New Member
Registered Member
99.99% of life is pure bullshit and it is the 0.0001% moments like this that make the rest of the suck all the more worth it. The reality and surrealness of the situation finally hits me when we cross the threshold of our hotel room together and then on top of everything else I realized there was only one bed.. Even in this moment I could never be someone I was not, so perfectly choreographed (albeit over the top) sex scenes like those between Liev Schreiber and Jeanne Tripplehorn in A Perfect Man (2013) were thrown out of the window for me as self imposed no-go's. We take turns getting cleaned up in the washroom, I ask her what time she wants the alartm clock to be set for an early rise in the morning and out of respect I made one last good faith offer to take the floor and save the king sized lofty bed all to her instead. She mumbles something about both being grow adults and slips under the covers in prep for sleep after taking off everything except her intimate undergarments. My attraction for her feels like that of a young schoolboy having an innocent crush on an extremely pretty girl for the very first time in his life, having yet never been disappointed nor disillusioned before, a purity of innocent and wonderous magic. As we both seemingly beginto fall asleep she slowly turns around in bed in the cool breezy dark of the night to tell me that she just wanted to be held tonight...

I embrace her like as if I had known her all my life and she was my lifelong partner and not as in the woman that I had just met at the airport back in Dallas yesterday morning... Then the contiuity of conciousness finally dawns on me in a wierdly ironic way, I realize since I hadn't actually really slept on the flight, that "this" morning was actually the prior day! and that I hadn't even known this woman for longer than one continous stream of awakened conciousness, it just always felt wierd on these long intercontential travels how (esp if one never fell fully asleep during the travel) that the start of the journey in terms of chronological "time" in space seemed so very far away and yet at the same time was still the "same day" as far as the waking brain/body is concerned... this jarring juxaposition was always something I mused about during my travels but it has been especially more amplified and heightened with suddently with the unexpected presence of her in my life...

As I drift slowly into unconciousness I imagine the wonderful moments we could conceivably share on this trip together. Since she was also taking a trip by herself to the same destination I was hopeful that our plans could somehow fit and be made to fusion into one wonderful holistic trip together... part of me finaally realizing that I no longer even cared if we woke up in time to make our connecting flight, if life is truly about the journey and not the destination, then the everlasting now is all that matters. No matter where you go, there you still are. and yet my knowing her and getting to know her better I finally can truly see the real me for the very first time ever. I drift asleep, thanking the COVID gods for aligning fate and serependity in such a way as to maniesfest the woman of my dreams and to instantiate that into a chance encounter in the real world out there, finally embodied and beheld in physical form at long last....
 

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