It is always the Han Chinese need to respect them but never the other way around, just typical. Who told you Tibetans didn't try to revolt and cause chaos. Hu Jintao put down a revolt in 89 and was promoted to Chairman due to his decisive actions. In 2008, another revolt was prevented by quick actions. Consequently, Tibet was given preferential treatment and handouts to modernize and improve living standard. However, handouts shouldn't be forever as it is unfair to many other Chinese.Well I have more question than answers now. The Tibetans I interacted with told me that they insisted their Han Chinese colleagues and family members to respect the Dalai Lama as a the living God, but they are just as grateful toward "Grandpa Xi 习爷爷" for building roads, railroads, and increasing welfare spending in Tibet. So I can still sense that there's unresolved conflict over the Dalai Lama and Tibetan Government in Exile. However, these Tibetans are willing to accept the status quo as long as they can maintain their current prosperity. Since the unresolved conflict over the Dalai Lama could be managed, I wonder why similar religious conflict cannot be managed in Xinjiang. Is Wahhabism from Saudi Arabia and Egypt the only causes?
Beside Tibet doesn't have only one living god. Tibet has multiple living gods. It is not just Dalai Lama and Panchen lama but many other lamas. Nyingma, Shakya, Kagyu and Gelug and Bon all command many following. You also forgot that many Tibetans used to be serfs(slaves) and were exploited. Many of these serfs and their descendants still fear the lama and would be willfully subject themselves to exploitation.
As for XJ, these people hacked and murdered over 200 Han Chinese including women and children and continued to kill over a thousand Han Chinese and other minorities and even their own. What do you expect the Chinese government going to do. Han Chinese were fleeing XJ and fear for their lives just a few years ago. Many people just have short memory how desperate the situation in XJ was and blindly accepted the Western media misinformation.