Last night I had this terrifyingly realistic dream that after TikTok got banned in the U.S., Chinese tech giants (BAT and ByteDance) hatched this plan for revenge where they bought out all the major porn sites and made it mandatory to sit through a 15 minute boring ass speech by Xi Jinping about pollution, anti-corruption, or common prosperity before the “action begins”. People started panicking enmass and traffic to less reputable porn sites skyrocketed. But unfortunately those were run by scam centers from a certain superpower and after the same IP visits the website three to four times, it would lock you iphone and say that it got hacked and that you need to call tech support from Hyderabad to get it unlocked. Flush with cash from the latest scams, the super power managed to channel the cash into bioweapons research and managed to create an army of monitor lizards whose actions could be controlled via a play station controller. I woke up with a start before the lizard army was put to any use.
