Truly, you're not the only one. If you go through my post history on SDF, you can get a feeling on the evolution of my thoughts.
My first watershed moment was in 2008. The Lhasa riots prompted the Toronto Chinese community to hold a huge rally downtown. I participated in the rally, the square we were in was filled with Chinese flags. There were easily thousands of us, of all ages and from all walks of life. I saw major news outlets interviewing many people.
When I got home, I eagerly turned on the TV to see news coverage of the rally. The Chinese community really made their voices heard this time, I thought.
I still remember that CTV report clearly. They showed a clip of a young Chinese guy saying he was told not to talk to the media, and that he didn't know why. Then they jumped to an Asian looking woman who claimed all the demonstrators where students and that they were forced to show up by the Chinese consulate. She further claimed that the consulate held the students' passports and controlled their visas.
I also remember searching Google for news about the rally. Every article put the rally number in the "hundreds". You can see an example of this coverage here:
This experience was the most eye-opening experience for me. Up until then, I believed the Western propaganda about "free media". Now, I did not immediately change my mind after this experience, I remember arguing on an email thread with fellow Chinese about how they're misunderstanding Western media. I thought I knew more than them since I grew up in Canada.
I did not change my mind immediately, but I kept thinking about this experience over the years, reconciling what I went through with what I read on the MSM, and slowly I understood the pervasiveness of Western propaganda.
This is an ongoing process, as I am continuously learning new ways the media is manipulating my perception. The current HK riots is another learning experience for me. When I was searching for news of the unrest, I automatically dismissed reports from PRC sources reporting on pro-China rallies in HK. I thought that the majority of HKers were anti-China! It is only thanks to
@Gatekeeper that I was able to gain an accurate understanding of the situation!