solarz
Brigadier
Gotta love the reaction at 1:00!
Funny article thread
- Thread starter KYli
- Start date
- Status
Gotta love the reaction at 1:00!
TerraN_EmpirE
Tyrant King
broadsword
Brigadier
New law of NZ
*
*
---------WONDER WHY* WE HAD NOT INTERPRETED IT CORRECTLY BEFORE.!!!???
*
For those who haven't heard:*
New Zealand just passed both laws -*gay marriage and legalized marijuana.*
The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because
Leviticus 20:13 says, "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned."*
*
We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
*
*
---------WONDER WHY* WE HAD NOT INTERPRETED IT CORRECTLY BEFORE.!!!???
*
For those who haven't heard:*
New Zealand just passed both laws -*gay marriage and legalized marijuana.*
The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because
Leviticus 20:13 says, "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned."*
*
We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
broadsword
Brigadier
Worrying about your safety? *This might help. Have a great day!
***********************************************************************
I love compassionate Christian Seniors..
--------------------------------------------------
A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: *'Stop! *Acts 2:38!' *(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar:
'Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.'
'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Axe and Two 38's!'
***********************************************************************
I love compassionate Christian Seniors..
--------------------------------------------------
A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: *'Stop! *Acts 2:38!' *(Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar:
'Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.'
'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Axe and Two 38's!'
airsuperiority
Captain
I can watch this forever
airsuperiority
Captain
Darwin Award nominees
broadsword
Brigadier
An elderly man on a Moped, pulls up next to a doctor at traffic lights.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car you got there sonny?"
The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO, it can do up to 320 miles an hour," he said proudly.
"Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "Nice car, but I'll stick with my Moped!"
Just then the light changes and doctor floors it to 160mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror getting closer. He slows down and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH something flies past him. He speeds up to see what it is and up ahead of him, he sees the old man.
Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275mph. He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him. He takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320mph.
Again, he sees the Moped bearing down on him. The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he and do! Suddenly, the Moped ploughs into the back of his Ferrari.
Unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, "I'm a doctor.... is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers, "Unhook my braces from your side view mirror!"
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of car you got there sonny?"
The doctor replies, "A Ferrari GTO, it can do up to 320 miles an hour," he said proudly.
"Mind if I take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the doctor.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "Nice car, but I'll stick with my Moped!"
Just then the light changes and doctor floors it to 160mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror getting closer. He slows down and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH something flies past him. He speeds up to see what it is and up ahead of him, he sees the old man.
Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275mph. He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him. He takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320mph.
Again, he sees the Moped bearing down on him. The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he and do! Suddenly, the Moped ploughs into the back of his Ferrari.
Unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, "I'm a doctor.... is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man whispers, "Unhook my braces from your side view mirror!"
broadsword
Brigadier
Last edited:
broadsword
Brigadier
EATING IN THE UK IN THE FIFTIES
------------------------------------------------------------
Pasta had not been invented.
Curry was a surname.
A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.
All crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the
salt on or not.
A Chinese chippy was a foreign carpenter.
Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Coffee was Camp, and came in a bottle.
Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
Only Heinz made beans.
Fish didn't have fingers in those days.
Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.
None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only found in India.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not a recognized food.
"Kebab" was not even a word never mind a food.
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of
a real one.
Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bottling it and
Charging more than petrol for it they would have become a laughing stock.
The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties .. Was elbows!
------------------------------------------------------------
Pasta had not been invented.
Curry was a surname.
A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.
All crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the
salt on or not.
A Chinese chippy was a foreign carpenter.
Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Coffee was Camp, and came in a bottle.
Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
Only Heinz made beans.
Fish didn't have fingers in those days.
Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.
None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only found in India.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not a recognized food.
"Kebab" was not even a word never mind a food.
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of
a real one.
Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bottling it and
Charging more than petrol for it they would have become a laughing stock.
The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties .. Was elbows!
- Status