Funny Stuff Thread.... to loosen your day

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bladerunner

Banned Idiot
I was listening to a radio program hosted by a well known etemologist. In it he endeavours to answer all the callers problems with bugs and garden parasites etc etc.

He had a woman caller who told him she had a cockroach and termite infestation in her home and what could he suggest as a remmedy

He suggested that she try "Napalm".

In return she was deadly serious when she asked him, how to spell it and where should she try to buy some. and what was its likely cost.
 
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I was listening to a radio program hosted by a well known etemologist. In it he endeavours to answer all the callers problems with bugs and garden parasites etc etc.

He had a woman caller who told him she had a cockroach and termite infestation in her home and what could he suggest as a remmedy

He suggested that she try "Napalm".

In return she was deadly serious when she asked him, how to spell it and where should she try to buy some. and what was its likely cost.

I hope she finds what she's looking for ;)
 

Quickie

Colonel
Better still, read at the link. "Copy and paste" don't seem to be working at the site.

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Chinese man arrested in fake U.S. Army unit scam
Allegedly gave 'recruits' fake uniforms and had them parade in L.A. suburb

updated 4/12/2011 8:12:14 PM ET 2011-04-13T00:12:14
Share Print Font: +-LOS ANGELES — A Chinese man was accused Tuesday of creating a fake U.S. Army unit and selling immigrants on the idea that joining the squad was a path to citizenship, authorities said.
Yupeng Deng, 51, allegedly gave his "recruits" military uniforms, had them parade in a Los Angeles suburb and took them to the decommissioned USS Midway aircraft carrier, which is a museum in San Diego.
Deng charged more than 100 fellow Chinese nationals between $300 and $450 to join the fake Army unit, according to the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office. He called his bogus squad the U.S. Army/Military Special Forces Reserve unit, or MSFR for short, and gave himself the lofty title of "supreme commander," prosecutors said. As well as telling recruits that belonging to the unit was a path to U.S. citizenship, Deng urged them to pay him cash for higher military rank, according to prosecutors. He also allegedly provided them with fake documents and phony military identification cards. Deng, a resident of the Los Angeles suburb of El Monte, was arrested Tuesday by sheriff's deputies. He was charged with theft by false pretenses, manufacturing deceptive government documents and counterfeit of an official government seal.
Deng faces up to eight years in prison if convicted. He was scheduled to be arraigned on Wednesday and was being held on $500,000 bail. Jane Robison, a spokeswoman for the District Attorney's Office, declined to comment on how Deng was caught. "All the details and evidence will come out in a preliminary hearing," she said
 

AssassinsMace

Lieutenant General
Woman believes she's too well-eductaed to be told to be quiet on the train.

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[video=youtube;gq7LD_uOQiE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq7LD_uOQiE[/video]
 
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Martian

Senior Member
Sharing my South China Sea view on U.S. Department of Defense website

I have shared my view on the South China Sea with many interested parties, including the official U.S. Department of Defense website (i.e. notice the ".gov" designation). As armchair generals, it is important for us to attract the attention of the real generals and have them listen to our opinions.

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"U.S. Urges Negotiation in South China Sea Disputes
By Donna Miles
American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON, June 21, 2011 – The United States, like the rest of the world, has a deep interest in ensuring freedom of navigation in the South China Sea and in helping defuse tensions over territorial disputes there, a senior defense official said yesterday.
...
6/21/2011 1:04:54 PM
Vietnamese and Filipinos should stop encroaching on thousand-year-old Chinese territory in the South China Sea. Source: Wikipedia article on Paracel Islands with primary sources listed in footnotes "The coast belonged to the Kingdom of Cauchi China." "China 618~1279 * There are some Chinese cultural relics in the Paracel islands dating from the Tang and Song dynasty eras[12][note 1], and there is some evidence of Chinese habitation on the islands in these periods.[13]."
- China Lee, Boston"
 
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AssassinsMace

Lieutenant General
Farmer tries to buid himself a UFO.

[video=youtube;-dQr_CKR7Vw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=-dQr_CKR7Vw[/video]
 

bd popeye

The Last Jedi
VIP Professional
A rather revealing and amusing article..author is unknown...

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Recently, I took the Beijing metro.

Not for the first time, though. I had taken the metro before usually either late at night or in some obscure corner of the city where people come and go in a steady but thin trickle.

In attempt to evade the traffic and avoid the whopping 40 yuan ($6.25) fare I had been coughing up everyday for a cab, I decided to take the metro. This time, I was traveling at 5:30 pm, the height of rush hour, from Muxidi to Guomao on Line 1, the line infamous for hosting massive throngs of people.

Now I finally know how a chicken feels in a chicken pen at a chicken-nugget factory. Where did this exodus come from? I live in Hong Kong, one of the most densely populated cities on the face of Earth, and yet the Hong Kong metro seemed spacious in comparison.

Standing sandwiched between a middle-aged woman clutching an armful of shopping bags and the sweaty bicep of a beefy doppelganger of the Michelin Man, brought back memories of the Taylor Swift concert I attended a few months ago. The inside of the metro bore an uncanny resemblance to the mosh pit at the country star's Hong Kong debut.

I remember my friend Lucy remarking with amusement, that she couldn't lie down. "Try to fall back!" she exclaimed through the cacophony. I relaxed my body and let my knees give in. And yet I did not budge one inch. There were so many people converged on me from all directions, that the collective flesh of 1,000 concert-goers simply supported me in standing position.

The Beijing metro was no different. In fact, the 2 yuan ticket entitles you to a little extra, something that isn't offered with the HK$900 ($115) Taylor Swift ticket - incredible, awkward tension.

When a stranger's face is literally a few centimeters away from yours and shifting your stance is not an option, you are forced to tilt your eyeballs in the most unnatural way to avoid eye contact. Otherwise, you will find yourself immobile, gazing deeply into the other person's soul for the hour-long ride.

I was lucky, however, and managed to snag a spot by the television screen, a dusty monitor screening pixilated animations from a provincial television program, the kind of program I would instinctively flip past while watching TV at home.

Yet on the metro, it was like watching Harry (Potter) discover a horcrux (the key to the secret codes) at the premiere of Deathly Hallows Part 2. Tweens watched, as if catching up on the latest episode of Glee; middle-aged men ogled, as if enjoying the finals of Miss Universe. Two young Canadians stood in the corner enraptured, straining their necks to catch a glimpse of the subtitle-less, barely audible, mediocre children's cartoon, as if it were the finals of an ice hockey tournament.

The hardest part, however, was getting off. Somehow, during the course of the journey, I was pushed toward the back of the carriage and squeezed against the window. The doors were at the other end. I was stuck.

In the end, I followed the thin path created by two women inching their way through the crowd, using them as pawns, and finally got off the train.

Victory! I strolled through the station jauntily, proud to have survived the journey so far. All I needed to do was transfer to Line 10 to get to Tuanjiehu. And then I paused mid-step. I saw it by the escalator - a massive, gaggle of noise and human flesh.

What was going on? I stepped closer to observe. It resembled the crowd of maniacal girls I saw waiting for Justin Bieber at his concert only months after Taylor's debut. And then it dawned on me. These were the people transferring to Line 10. I backed away in horror.

Better take the taxi home.
 
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