Funny Stuff Thread.... to loosen your day

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Miragedriver

Brigadier
Okay...this is satire directed at current events in the US. I think these are pretty funny, but if they offend anyone's true sensibilities, let me know and I will remove.

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You know what they say Jeff..... There is truth in comedy.......:rolleyes: That is why it is funny
 
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Miragedriver

Brigadier
Truthfully, I kind of feel sorry for the two woman. They are suffering from a form of Psychosis and need help...but are not getting it.

I concur. We say that socialists suffer from a metal disorder, since they can never articulate their point and they cannot use logic to resolve problems.;)

Case in point:
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Back to bottling my Grenache
 

Jeff Head

General
Registered Member
You have p[probably all heard this first one:

"I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw!

But what about these other two?

"I hear ," said the deaf man as he went out to his cattle and herd!

"I say," said the mute man as he fixed his tire and spoke!
 

Miragedriver

Brigadier
Some very good one liners:

Groucho Marx (1890-1977):
'I never forget a face, but in your case I’d be glad to make an exception.'

Tommy Cooper (1921-1984)
'I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.'

Woody Allen (1 December 1935-):
'Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.'

Billy Connolly (24 November 1942-):
'My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.'

Jimmy Carr (15 September 1972):
'I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help". '

Bob Hope (1903-2003):
I remember my staff asking me when I was going to retire. I said when I could no longer hear the sound of laughter. He said: "That never stopped you before".

George Carlin (May 1937- June 2008)
'Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.'


Back to bottling my Grenache
 
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