Funny chinese military pics

Discussion in 'Members' Club Room' started by MIGleader, Apr 11, 2006.

  1. Kampfwagen
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    Kampfwagen Junior Member

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    Whoops! My mistake. Sorry about that...I had a feeling that one was a mess-up :p
     
  2. PiSigma
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    PiSigma "the engineer"

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    hey ender and bean... welcome to SDF bean (bean is ender's shadow) the guy with 4 stars seems to be a division commander. remember that chinese divisions are not as big as american ones, an american division is about the size of a chinese group army.

    again welcome to SDF bean, read the rules and introduce yourself in the introduction thread
     
  3. Ender Wiggin
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    Ender Wiggin Junior Member

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    muahaha, us OSC fans will take over the boards ;)

    But a FOUR star general?

    I thought it was:

    1 Star: Brigidier General: Commands 2 Regiments or More aka Brigade

    2 Star: Major General: Commands military facilities or a Division

    3 Star: Lt. General Commands a Corps.

    4 Star: Field Marshal(?) Commands an Army

    Whats the proper ranking? I know a 4 Star General can be Chief of Staffs.

    Alse Bean why the hell dont you have contact info? That is waaay out of procedure.

    So I'll post this message:

     
    #13 Ender Wiggin, Apr 13, 2006
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2006
  4. Ender's Shadow
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    Ender's Shadow New Member

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    Advice and instructions taken from actual military sources. Some of these guys must have had a sense of humor

    "Aim towards the enemy."
    --Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher

    "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
    --U.S. Marine Corps

    "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
    --USAF Ammo Troop

    "If the enemy is in range, so are you."
    --Infantry Journal

    "A slipping gear could let your m203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
    --Army's magazine of prevention maintenance

    "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed."
    --US AirForce manual

    "Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo."
    --Infantry Journal

    "Tracers work both ways."
    --U.S. Army Ordnance

    "Five-second fuses only last three seconds."
    --Infantry Journal

    "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
    --David Hackworth

    "If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
    --Infantry Journal

    "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
    --Joe Gay

    "Any ship can be a minesweeper....once."
    --Anon

    "Never tell the platoon sergeant you have nothing to do."
    --Unknown Marine Recruit

    "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
    --Infantry Journal

    "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him."
    --USAF Ammo Troop

    Funny military jokes I found on About.com of all places. Good stuff though. And I haven't got arround to putting up my contact info. (I'm lazy Ender.) I'm putting up an email after this post. I didn't respond sooner because I had to write a report on the first battle of Fort Sumter. Anyway, to stay on topic...more military humor! Got this from Albinoblacksheep. careful about the games on there, they can get you really mean trojans and what not.

    # Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.
    # My proper military title is 'Specialist Schwarz' not 'Princess Anastasia'.
    # Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
    # Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
    # Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
    # Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
    # Not allowed to add 'In accordance with the prophesy' to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
    # Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.
    # Not allowed to title any product 'Get Over it'.
    # Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on Government time.
    # Not allowed to join the communist party.
    # Not allowed to join any militia.
    # Not allowed to form any militia.
    # Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo.
    # Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to 'Sic Brass!'
    # Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my 'Sampson like powers'.
    # God may not contradict any of my orders.
    # May no longer perform my now (in)famous 'Barbie Girl Dance' while on duty.
    # May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.
    # Must not taunt the French any more.
    # Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
    # Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'.
    # Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they've been smoking crack.
    # Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it's true.
    # Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one.
    # Never tell a German soldier that 'We kicked your ass in World War 2!'
    # Don't tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne).
    # Don't take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
    # The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.
    # Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
    # Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
    # Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
    # Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
    # (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
    # Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')
    # Can't have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn't over).
    # Our medic is called 'Sgt Larwasa', not 'Dr. Feelgood'.
    # Our supply Sgt is 'Sgt Watkins' not 'Sugar Daddy'.
    # Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
    # I do not have super-powers.
    # 'Keep on Trucking' is *not* a psychological warfare message.
    # Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind's baser instincts in recruitment posters.
    # Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
    # I am not the atheist chaplain.
    # I am not allowed to 'Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddies little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies'.
    # I am not authorized to fire officers.
    # I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states.
    # I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
    # Not allowed to trade military equipment for 'magic beans'.
    # Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours.

    the first 50. 163 left. I'll post the rest another time.
     
  5. xihaoli
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    xihaoli New Member

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    Didn't we have a joke thread on the old ezboard thread? How about renaming this one.
     
  6. Kampfwagen
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    Kampfwagen Junior Member

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    Oh lord, those are pretty funny. I really liked the Irish MP one.

    Some more funny quotes.

    "Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally."-Soviet Infantry Manual: 1930's

    "The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons."-Russian Military Doctrine

    "Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum Europae vincendarum"

    Sometimes I get this urge to conquer large parts of Europe.-Latin/Roman Quote

    Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.

    I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head

    Also, a rather funny joke I found.

    A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for
    the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
    stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"

    The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the
    universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
    if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
    you think of, Sergeant?"

    "I think somebody stole the damn tent."



    Now for some pictures.

    [​IMG]

    "Okay! We Will let you back on the ship as long as you promise not to play 'In The Navy' again!"

    [​IMG]

    "I told you that bomb would hit too close to that sourkraut factory!"
    "...Shut up..."
     
  7. MIGleader
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    MIGleader Banned Idiot

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    [​IMG]

    your head is about to be karate chopped

    [​IMG]

    psss...whats the answer to number 4?

    [​IMG]

    spiderman was here

    [​IMG]

    who do we call now?
     
  8. xihaoli
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    xihaoli New Member

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    [​IMG]

    You know you like it.......

    Its supposively a J-10 btw. No elevators.
     
  9. MIGleader
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    MIGleader Banned Idiot

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    [​IMG]
    tokyo drift, anyone?
     
  10. pete4r
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    pete4r Just Hatched
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    hi, that is not a 4 stars generals rank, it is a Colonel's rank, generals have stars, but the stars are in gold, and do not have the 2 stripes. you should search google image for pictures of chinese military ranks.

    also china do not have 4 stars generals, because they think Mao only ranked himself 3 stars, and no one should go higher than him. maybe it has changed now.

    Pete
     
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